getting even

Dear k-

Alone again. The feeling is starting to grow familiar. I found myself anticipating this split, so it wasn’t as painful as it could have been. Still, the sensation of rejection is never a pleasant one. I am also annoyed that it took six bloody months before this guy figured out that apparently I wasn’t his cup of tea. And even then, it didn’t feel like his reasons were sincere. Who needs time to “think” about if this is really what he wants after six months? Who does this out of the blue, in the middle of a pleasant walk in the park?

Oh well, fuck it. As I said, I’ve grown used to the sensation and this time I didn’t shed a tear. I guess that means it wasn’t meant to be, if I didn’t care that much for him. Still, it’s frustrating to be back at square one. I feel like the romantic version of Sisyphus: constantly falling in and out of love.

The world is terrifying these days. Mass killings, threats of nuclear war, natural disasters one after another. It puts one’s own life into perspective and makes it difficult to mourn the loss of a potential friendship/partner when others are losing lives, homes, family. Who knows what is to come next.

I hope you are doing well.

-k