anywhere but here

Dear K-

I’ve been feeling low lately. There’s no real reason. Science tells me it is probably because the serotonin receptors in my brain aren’t functioning quite as well as they should be. But who knows. I’ll shake it off eventually like a dirty old shawl, but for the moment it’s too cold to change. I started to doubt everything I’ve been working on lately. Who am I kidding? None of this will ever amount to anything. Even if I do finish these projects, who will notice them? How long will any recognition or appreciation last? My mistake was to give myself expectations. I mistakenly became excited and dreamed of flying a little too close to the sun. How could I ever expect to fly? I’ve got one foot in the grave and I’m terribly afraid of heights. These things I write, create…they can only be things to pass the time and bring me amusement. If I try to make them up to be anything but the simple diversion they are, then everything shatters. I need to be more cautious in the future.

You are a good friend. I don’t tell you that enough. I’m sorry if I’ve ever let you down. I hope we continue writing until we’re old and blind. I hope we never completely lose track of each other.

Please,

Stay on my map,

-k