Another

Dear K,

It's Spring and I feel guilty. I really tried to do the right thing. What I thought was the right thing. It gets hard to determine what that is sometimes. I was dating this woman, and we had a good time, however anytime it seemed as if the relationship would progress she would pump the brakes and say things like "maybe I shouldn't be dating you, I shouldn't be dating anybody right now, I should be single"

This was fine for a while. We had fun, things were casual. Then we started fighting, started getting distant from each other. We'd be in the same room and hardly talk. One day I said, "it seems like our dynamic has changed, maybe we should break up and just be friends". It seemed like what she wanted, what she kept telling me she needed.

The following week she said she wanted to get back together.

In that week I had realized that I had been spending a lot of time with her, or talking to her, and that this had taken up the focus of my life. I realized that I had spent the preceding months making things about her. I don't know if she ever felt this way, and maybe that's not even true, but it's how I feel about the relationship. Don't get me wrong I love doing that. I love doting on pretty women. It makes me feel good to hear them giggle and laugh and say nobody ever treated them so good. I like to be good, I like to do good things.

She's been sending me long text messages and asking to talk and trying to get back together ever since we broke up. I've been thinking about how I'm going to get to LA.

I still think she's a lovely lady. I still think she's funny and smart and cute. I just don't feel the way I used to about her, and that really hurts her feelings, and that makes me feel guilty.

I don't like it when anybody I care about is hurt. I'll usually try and do just about everything I can to make them feel better. I'll talk it through with them, I'll try and listen as best I can, I'll make jokes and dance around the room, I'll do anything, say anything to get them to stop crying. Sometimes though there's nothing you can do. It's not my job to make her feel better. I know that, but it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty because her feelings are hurt.

Anyways,

I hope everything's good with you,

K