broadripple is burning

Dear K-

I faded with the winter, once again. I spent endless hours in miserably mainstream coffee shops, nursing expensive yet unsatisfying quantities of coffee while hammering my brain senseless with the accumulated knowledge of an entire semester. It was lonely and I'm not sure how many more weeks I can spend in such a state.

But now I'm at break and just as lonely. So does it really get any better? No. The answer is no. I'm too busy shunning society during the semester just so I can eek by with satisfactory grades that when I finally do come to a period where I do have time available for socialization, no one is there for me. And so I get up in the morning and go to work, come home and night and watch television until I fall asleep, praying the next day will bring more adventure, friends, excitement, but knowing deep down that it won't ever change.

One of the doctor's I work for has a laugh like yours. I realized it the other day, when he found a patient's comment humorous. It's that same spontaneous guffaw, a hearty deep chortle that rebounds off the walls, feeling much too large for such a little space. Just a few loud barks and then back to silence, with a wry grin remaining upon his lips, still slightly parted from the effort. It reminded me of you.

I hope you are doing well these days. I know I shouldn't be so low, that I should move on an find happiness where I can. But sometimes we all just feel a little at a lost that all our hard work in one aspect of our lives leaves the other sectors withering away.

We can never have it all.

-K