Untitled

Dear K,

Why am I so lonely? I have friends and relatives. What is so important about having a physical relationship? Remember that person I talked about? The one that came back into my life. Well I cut her out again because it was too painful otherwise.

We were caught in a cycle of pain, and I wanted out. I still want out. I want out of this plan I have for my life. I want out of everyone's plan for my life. I want to be able to write for days and weeks at a time without feeling exhausted by every line and every scene. I want to be thin and beautiful. But mostly I'm tired.

Spring is around the corner, maybe I'll be happier then.

Every year feels worse than the last.

Regrets and wishes keep me up at night,
I wish I had someone to soothe me to sleep,

K