This Dying Year

Dear K,

Your video was lovely. Thank you. I'm sorry your boss is an asshat. I'm sorry you're feeling dissatisfied with your relationship. That happens sometimes. I usually split when that happens. I usually convince everyone around me that I should split when that happens. The clock is ticking and we'll never win against it.

We imagine such intricate cages for ourselves don't we? You talk about the only escape route for you being Vietnam or Europe, these are the places you imagine happiness. I imagine the only place I'll be the right mix of happy and miserable is in the arms of a former lover. We've become very good at imagining away the world, at saying only this and only that. Perhaps there are more than two choices? Perhaps there are an infinite amount of choices. Perhaps the dichotomy of stay or leave is false? What if there are no dichotomies? No this or that. Only both, and a million other things.

Or maybe we're only happy when we're sad?

All I know is I want to be more present. I want to have a goal, and I want to work on it every day.

Yours in spirit-kinship,

Forever,

K